


Richie Tozier Answers Increasingly Personal Questions

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Established Relationship, Interviews, M/M, but this is all richie, can be read as a no pennywise au, stan does not, stan's death is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 13:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The video cuts to the director stepping in front of the camera, now set up against the far wall, and clicking the film clapboard. “Richie Tozier Answers Increasingly Personal Questions as the Camera Gets Closer to His Face.”





	Richie Tozier Answers Increasingly Personal Questions

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so i'm kind of extremely nervous about posting this. i haven't written fanfiction since approximately seventh grade, and i wrote this all in one night on a massive whim. i know it's not too long, but i really hope you enjoy!
> 
> this is based entirely on the video 'hasan minhaj answers increasingly personal questions' by vanity fair (i would link the video if i knew how to, but i highly recommend giving it a watch). some of the questions are taken directly from there, some are my own. it also might help you understand the set up of this fic better.
> 
> okay, that's all! thank u sm for checking this fic out!

The video opens. There’s a shot of a crew setting up a camera rig along the ground, allowing the camera to be pushed from against the wall on one side of the room, all the way up to a leather chair on the opposite side. Richie Tozier stands off to the side as a crew member tapes a microphone to his shirt.

It cuts to the director stepping in front of the camera, now set up against the far wall, and clicking the film clapboard. “Richie Tozier Answers Increasingly Personal Questions as the Camera Gets Closer to His Face.”

“Oh, is that the title? Is that all? You guys were really going for the catchiness factor, huh?” Richie grins, turning his attention away from the director and into the camera. “Hey, you guys found my best angle! Can I just do the entire interview from this length, actually? I think that’s the best-case scenario for everyone here, the people at home included.” 

The director snorts, but ignores him as the camera slowly begins pushing up towards Richie. “We’re starting with work. How is work?”

“Um, it’s good, actually. Really good. The best it’s been in a long time. Ever, actually.”

“Where do you live?”

Richie smiles. “L.A. With my husband.”

“Why don’t you live in New York?”

“Honestly, as soon as I graduated high school I just wanted to get as far away from Maine as possible. And, uh, I guess California just kinda stuck.” He pauses for a moment, then grins. “Also, fuck New York. Oh god, I’m gonna get so many angry comments ‘cause of that.”

The director gives him a small smile. The camera is a little over halfway to him by now. “How has your recent marriage affected your personal life/career balance?”

“Uh, it’s been kind of hard adjusting, actually. It’s like, I spent the last 20-whatever years just doing this shit on my own, not really giving a shit about anyone, and, uh, now I’ve got a husband and a dog to take care of, and he makes me take care of myself, too. My husband, not my dog.” He laughs. “God, how fucked up would that be? You know you’ve gone off the deep end when your  _ dog _ is making you take, like, basic care of yourself. Not gonna lie, though, that does kinda sound like me. Like, would you guys really be surprised?”

One of the crew members off to the side lets out a slight laugh.

“Have you ever made a mistake in your career that you regret?”

“No, the last 20 years of making shitty sexist jokes about women have been, just, the height of my existence. I mean, yeah, no shit I regret, like, a lot of it. Almost all of it, actually. I wish I could have come out, like, at the start of my career or something. Do this whole thing the right way. But I did get here eventually, so. You know.”

“When have you felt the most lonely?” The camera is almost directly in Richie’s face by this point.

“Oh god, you really just wanna show off every single pore on my face while I talk about my greatest insecurities.” He snorts as he shifts around in his seat. “No, it’s great, it’s great. Yeah, I mean, growing up where I did… Gotta say, being gay in a small town in the 80’s was not a super fun time. Shocker, I know. The loneliest was probably, uh, last year, though. It just kind of hit me that I was, like, 40, and I had no real friends, and the only people I really talked to were my manager and my agent, and I was  _ known _ for being, like, peak male heterosexuality. And it just felt like coming out was… unthinkable. It didn’t even feel like it was on the table, or like it ever could be. That sucked.”

“Okay. Good job, Richie,” The director turns to the cameraman. “Family, now.”

Richie laughs, “Oh, great, now we get to do this all over again!”

With the camera back at the opposite end of the room, the new round of questions begin. “How’s your husband?”

“He’s good. He’s great. Cute as ever.”

“How did you propose?”

“Oh, god. The story’s awful. Everybody expects some romantic ass proposal when in reality…  _ God. _ ” Richie laughs as he shakes his head. “I was gonna do it at dinner with all our friends, at this fancy ass restaurant, after dessert came out. You know, I figured, all the people we love are there, it’s a classy restaurant, the whole thing’s gonna be romantic as shit. I spent the whole time hyping myself up, all our other friends knew it was happening, too, and they were all excited. But then the time came, and I got so fucking nervous I had to go run to the bathroom to puke in the toilet.” He pauses, grinning. “It’s so fucking dumb. Eds, motherfucking sweetheart he is, followed me into the bathroom to, like, comfort me and shit, and also probably to make sure I properly rinsed my mouth out, because that’s just how he is. So I’m sitting on the bathroom floor, and he’s standing behind me, kind of rubbing my back and asking me what’s wrong. It’s disgusting, I have throw-up on my shirt, the toilet next to us must have been clogged or something because the whole room smells like shit. And--I don’t fucking know why, if you held a gun to my head I couldn’t tell you why--some fucked up part of my brain just went, “Well, now’s as good a time as any. I popped the question right there.” He laughs. “Fucking  _ awful. _ Also, I should mention, he  _ hates _ throw up.  _ And _ public bathrooms. Actually, I think he hates that story more than I do.”

“How’d it go?” The camera is noticeably closer.

“Oh god. Eddie just- he just-” Richie wheezes with laughter. “He just fucking looked me dead in the eye, said, and I quote, ‘Oh my  _ fucking  _ god,’ and walked straight out the bathroom door.” He throws his head back, more cackling than laughing. “God, I fucking love him. Obviously, I was like, full panicking then, like ‘Fuck, he hates me, I fucked everything up,’ and it took me, like, twenty fucking minutes to actually leave the bathroom, but as soon as I got to the table, he was just like, ‘Did you wash your mouth?’ And I’m kind of like, okay, what the fuck is he doing, but I just say yeah, and he’s like, ‘Okay, you can propose now, Jesus Christ.’” There’s a fond smile on Richie’s face, now. “I think that’s a pretty good representation of our entire relationship.”

A couple of the crew members are definitely shaking with silent laughter, now. The camera continues, right back up to Richie’s face. “Are you planning on having any children?”

“That makes it sound like we  _ could  _ have biological children. God, can you imagine? Now  _ that _ would be a fucking nightmare. But, really, I dunno. We aren’t really planning on it, and definitely not anytime soon, but, you know. Shit changes. So, not a hard no.”

The director director seems satisfied with this, and gives the signal for the cameraman to return to the opposite wall. He announces the next topic, identity, as he clicks the clapperboard in front of the camera. 

“Well, well, well, here we are again,” Richie says.

The director ignores him. “How are you?”

“Seems a little late into the interview to be asking this question, huh? Well, depends on how the rest of this interview goes, but right now I’m fucking fantastic.”

“What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done to fit in?”

  
“Uh, do you mean the entire first 20 years of my career? Because, yeah. That.”   
  


“You grew up in Derry, Maine. Is that right?”

Richie winces. “Yeah. Unfortunately.”

“How did growing up in Derry affect who you are today?”

He laughs sharply. “Shit. It probably fucked my brain over, like, twenty times. Got Derry to thank for all the shit going on up here.” He taps his head. “But also, I would have never met my husband or any of my closest friends if it wasn’t for that fucking place. So I  _ guess _ it’s fine.”

“What advice would you give to your younger self?"

“Well, I would say, ‘Stop being such a fucking asshole all the time,’ but I can’t even follow that advice now. I’d probably just say, like, you’ll be fine. The world gets better. You get better. It’ll be fine.”

  
“When did you last cry in front of another person?”

“Oh god, this is gonna be so fucking depressing. I know you guys said to just be honest and shit, but you’re about to regret that. Basically, uh, one of my best friends from when I was a kid passed away last year, and my husband and I went to go meet his wife for the first time a few weeks ago. We saw, uh, the room he died in, and yeah.” He laughs, but it comes out kind of forced, as he looks around the room at the crew around him. “Oh god, it just got so fucking awkward in here.”

The camera continues, nonetheless. “What made you decide to come out?”

“I just. I dunno. With that friend passing away, it put things in perspective, I guess. Also, my husband and I got together, and it would be a  _ crime _ for me to hide that ass from the public.”

“Okay!” The director claps his hands. “Last one. Politics. You’ve recently become vocal about politics. Why?”

“Honestly? I figured, hey, I’m coming out as gay, most of my fanbase is probably gonna hate me anyways. Might as fucking well, not like I have much else to lose. But then, I guess, it worked out pretty well for me.” It looks like he tries to smile, but it comes out as more of a grimace. “Turns out, people prefer it when you aren’t a disingenuous piece of shit. Who would’ve known?” 

“What’s a headline that you can’t get out of your mind?”

“Back to the depressing shit, huh? Uh, yeah, like a year ago, in Derry, this gay guy got attacked ‘cause he went to this carnival with his boyfriend, and he, uh, didn’t make it. It was just before I went back there to, uh, visit. I just keep thinking about like, how I was so lucky, to be able to get out of there as soon as I did. And there’s a lot of people who aren’t as lucky as me. Or, uh, weren’t, I guess. Yeah.” 

“What have you been trying to do more of?”

Richie barely seems to notice the camera pushing up on him, now. “I’ve been trying to be more open about being gay. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, since I already came out and all that shit, but when you spend your entire childhood being told you can never tell anyone about this part of you, it’s not-- it’s not like I’m just flipping a switch, like, I’m not just suddenly completely fucking fine with talking about it now, especially since everyone expects me to share it all with the entire fucking world. I dunno. I’m mostly fine with it in interviews and shit now, but out in the real world, or on Twitter or whatever, it’s hard. Because it’s these people that I don’t know, and there’s still some fucked up part of me that, like, panics over the thought of them knowing that stuff about me. I don’t even know. It’s fucking dumb.”

“What would you like to say to gay youth growing up in America now?”

“Oh god, that’s way too big of a fucking responsibility for me. I’m terrible at this.” He pauses for a moment, and seems to consider. “There’s nothing wrong with you. And don’t feel pressure to, like, completely figure yourself out anytime soon. Or to come out. Just do whatever shit feels right to you, I guess. I mean, I’m super fucking old, and I  _ just _ figured my shit out. If  _ I _ can get through it, then literally anyone else on planet earth can do it, too.” 

“Alright, cut, that’s a wrap,” The director announces. “Nice job, everyone.”

The video ends on a shot of Richie stretching lazily in the leather chair. He smiles at the director then, and it seems genuine. “Fuck yeah. Thanks for letting me be, like, gay as fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay wow if u actually made it all the way to the end please know i would die for u. that seriously means the world to me. i doubt anyone's gonna read this so i feel weird even asking for comments and kudos but they would be very much appreciated!!! this is the first thing i've written for fun (and one of the first non-analytical things i've written) in the past five years, and i know the style of interview doesn't translate super well to writing, so hopefully it's not too bad. if u made it this far: thank you, thank you, thank you. <3


End file.
